Understanding Core Beliefs: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Core beliefs are the deep, often unconscious stories we carry about ourselves, others, and the world. They form early in life, shaped by our relationships and experiences—especially the ways we were cared for, seen, and responded to.

These beliefs act like invisible lenses, influencing how we interpret experiences. For example, if a child consistently felt unseen or dismissed, they might grow into an adult who believes “my needs don’t matter” or “I have to handle everything alone.”

Over time, these beliefs become automatic, guiding our emotions, reactions, and relationships—often without us realizing it. Even when life circumstances change, the old story can linger, keeping us stuck in familiar but painful patterns.

Where Core Beliefs Come From

Core beliefs develop as we try to make sense of our world. They’re not just logical ideas but emotional truths our younger selves created to understand their experiences.

For instance, a child who experienced inconsistency or emotional disconnection might come to believe, “I can’t rely on others,” while a child who felt loved only when achieving might believe, “I’m only valuable when I succeed.”

While inconsistent or unavailable caregiving can play a role, it’s not the only factor. Core beliefs can also form from cultural expectations, peer dynamics, trauma, or moments when we felt misunderstood or powerless.

Why They Matter

Core beliefs are powerful because they shape how we see ourselves and relate to others. They influence how we respond to stress, conflict, and even love.

When these beliefs are harsh or outdated, they can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, or patterns of self-blame. But when we begin to notice and understand them, we open the door to healing.

The First Step Toward Change

Becoming aware of your core beliefs is the foundation of healing work. Therapy—especially schema therapy—offers a space to uncover these beliefs with compassion, understand where they came from, and begin to reshape them so they better reflect who you are today.

By bringing gentle curiosity to your inner story, you can begin to transform it—from one rooted in survival to one rooted in self-trust and connection.

Let’s Work Together

If you’re noticing old patterns that keep showing up—whether in relationships, self-criticism, or anxiety—therapy can help you make sense of the story underneath. Together, we can explore where these beliefs came from, how they show up in your life, and begin rewriting them in a way that feels freeing and true to who you are now.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation. Sessions are available in person in Los Angeles and via telehealth throughout California.